Mostly Homechurch

"You eat fish, you're an Episcopalian" - Mikey

"The definition of a poodle is purple" - Alex J

Mostly strawgoH

"This is a good song, Emily. I don't know why we're following Jesus and not this Modest Yahoo guy." - Laura

Mostly strawgoH

"Keep your enemies close; Jen! How was Chicago?" - Laura

"I wanna go live in the forties" - Me
"No you don't!" - Laura
"What- besides polio!" - Me
"No! There is no 'besides polio'! You live in the forties, you get polio! That's how it works!" - Laura

"It's a whole bunch of legos. It's a lego community, that's what Hebrews was talking about!" - Laura

"I found a tiny sweater. I will put it on a shark." - Robyn
"All the sharks." - Laura
"Every shark. Even the ones in the lakes...?" - Robyn

Mostly Prayer Group

"And then someone's like, 'Ah, it's in my eye!' But it smells good. Like wolf pee." - Ottavi

Mostly Driving Home

"Whuh - oh! People! People in the road! Crazy people in the road! Deranged people, that's where I was going with that. Deranged Asians in the road. Derasians!" - Laura

Mostly Work

"The last time I flew, I watched that movie with Richard Gear learning how to dance with Jennifer Lopez" - Chris
"Chicago?" - Matt
"Manitoba?" - Joe
"Free woman." - Matt
"It was awful. I just took out my headphones and stared at it." - Chris

"I have like five dollars in pennies." - Emily
"That's like a whole dollar in nickels." - Chris

Mostly Work

"I drink Half n' Half at restaurants" - Joe

"What is wrong with you guys?!" - Elizabeth
"Aaauuugh I want tuna!" - Chris

Mostly strawgoH

"Brett, I turned you on!" - Testa
"That's odd. I don't feel turned on." - Brett
"Ew. That's disgusting." - Testa


"It's hard to do this while talking. I'm being choked by your... antenna? I don't even know." - Brett

Mostly Worthington

"You circumcised our holly tree!" - Stuart
"I did! Now it's a Jewish tree." - Jill

"I spread sheets when I change the bed" - Amy
"Do you excel at it?" - Stu

Mostly Kurre's House

"I'm like, what are you trying to say? No! Go get my nice gay doctor and leave me alone!" - Laura

Mostly strawgoH

"Choads, man, fucking Jesus!" - Mel
"Choads man. Fucking Jesus." - Testa
"Choads. Man. Fucking. Jesus." - Brett
"Man with choads, fucking Jesus," - Testa

Mostly strawgoH

"Prepare for the smell!" - Rachel
"Of burning hair?" - Emily
"Yep, I associate it with toast." - Rachel

"Our trash is overflowing like a mo' fo'" - Laura

Mostly Krogers

"I answer the phone at work sometimes, and there's a specific something that I have to say" - Testa
"Like what?" - Jessie
"What up, douchebag?" - Testa

Mostly strawgoH

"There is fecal matter in my eye - my wife's! Fantastic!" - Neely

Mostly Thanksgiving

"You can shank a pimp with one of those." - Chris
"I'm sorry, I can cut a bitch." - Matt

Mostly strawgoH

"That sound is the walking of sluts." - Mel

Mostly the Establishment

"What do you do when it's three in the morning and you just killed a rat?" - Ian
"You dispose of it outside." - Laura
"No, that's what you do when it's not three in the morning. ...You put it in a ziplock bag and stick it in the freezer." - Ian

Mostly strawgoH

"I got the sand all in one conchamber!" - Rachel

Mostly Krogers

"All the lights went out and Rachel screams and grabs my hand... and then she sneezed on it! And I'm like, 'Did you just sneeze on my hand?!'" - Laura

"She screamed like twice... and then she sneezed." - Laura

Mostly House

"Isn't it great to think that I'm sleeping on a blanket that children may've been conceived on?" - Testa
"His unborn brothers or sisters are probably still there." - Rachel

Mostly Work

"She's Hindu, he's Muslim, and their parents? Ksssss...." - Elazabeth
"Snakes?" - Matt

Mostly Strawgoh

"I plan to never be the person in the alley with the people with the gun" - Shannon

"Seriously, don't take me seriously unless I say seriously" - Rachel

Mostly Mayhem

"Are you guys making tacos because Frank's here?" - Rachel

Mostly Strawgoh

"Those perverts!" - Mel
"Popcorn perverts." - Laura

Mostly Strawgoh

"Nice pea coat" - Mel
"Nice urine coat" - Laura
"Haha black pee" - Mel

"I'm going to pee this-" - Mel
"coat" - Laura

"They're sitting here, there - none of them are vaginas!" - Mel

"A peacock has nothing to do with a vagina!" - Mel

Mostly Strawgoh

"I'm terrified of watching Tim Burton which sometimes I have to say in my head Tim Burton not Tim Hortons..." - Mel

Mostly Strawgoh

"Come over here so I can suck your face" - Jessie

Mostly Japanese 101

"Oh my god it's a pirate. Oh my god it's captain Jack Sparrow. And it's the SKY." - Do-San

"I'm taking Calculus, I don't need common sense." - Stopar-San

Mostly Mayhem

"One does not simply clock into Mordor! We have a salary!" - Mikey

Mostly Strawgoh

"Don't steal my fetus, bro" - Rachel

Mostly I Don't Know What Was Going On

"Yeah! you can play the black guy in Othello!" - Todd
"You mean Othello?" - Taylor
"Yeah, that guy!" - Todd

Mostly Strawgoh

"That mass murdering flamingo" - Testa

"I feel like I could pee if I knew what I was doing" - Jessie

Mostly Mayhem

"We almost had cellgroup in a cell!" - Mikey
"HaHA!" - Cakes

Mostly SMAL House

"It's not sin, it's just... socially unacceptable." - Mikey

"How old do you have to be to not want to get burned to death?" - Sterbz
"... Seven." - Levon

Mostly The Saurus

"Reckless drivers can drive wherever the fuck they want." - Laura

Mostly SMAL House

"How did the cards get everywhere?" - Alex
"Rachel threw them at my boobs and they exploded!" - Kristi

"One does not simply walk into Giant Eagle! It is a long journey that you must write many pages about!" - Mikey

Mostly the SMAL House

"The foolish man does not simply walk into Mordor!" - Mikey

"You do not simply walk into Mordor, you must accept Christ first!" - Mikey

"It IS a poisonous spider, look at its kneecaps - those are the kneecaps of a killer" - Sterbz

"One does not simply BLAH into Mordor!" - Mikey

"One does not simply WOK into Mordor!" - Sam

"I can understand not forgiving potato cake" - Sam

"One does not simply Spock into Mordor!" - Mikey

"One does not simply start a fire into Mordor! ...They're already there!" - Sterbz

"One does not simply wear Westerville Crew pants into Mordor! It's too hot!" - Sterbz

"One does not simply Like Mordor on facebook! We don't have a page!" - Sterbz

"One does not apologize in Fordor-wait. Crap." - Sterbz
"All of a sudden I thought of a Sedan! One does not simply walk into a four door!" - Mikey

"One does not simply wind surf into Mordor!" - Mikey
"We don't even have an ocean!" - Sterbz

"One does not simply poke me with a hotdog stick in Mordor!" - Mikey
"We have spears for such things!" - Sterbz

"Shut the fuck up" - JessO
"One does not simply shut the fuck up in Mordor. We must talk about our feelings or go insane!" - Sterbz

"One does not simply grill hotdogs on the stove in Mordor!" - Sterbz

"One does not simply crawl over the couch in Mordor. We have loveseats. Only loveseats." - Sterbz

"I didn't do shit with your zero bar! I'm making lazagna!" - Mikey
"One does not simply quote into Mordor! ... No one ever says anything..." - Sterbz

"One does not simply walk into my corridor! You need the password. It's Mordor." - Sterbz

"It appears that my eyes were bigger than my MORDOR" - Mikey

"You know what assuming does, don't you? It makes an ass out of you in Mordor!" - Sterbz

Mostly Thesaurus

"I have a food baby." - Laura
"That's not a food baby, it's a food fetus." - Me
"Nope, it's a food baby. ... Baaaaaby." - Laura

"JessO, do you know how to crack someone's back without hurting them?" - Rachel

'You mean paralyzing them?" - Mel

Mostly Work

"I mean, the whole point of that saying is that lemons are disgusting" - Matthew

"I want to learn Latin so that I can exorcise demons" - Joe

"I love milk. It's my favorite." - Joe
"Your favorite? Out of everything?" - Elizabeth
"No. My favorite... beverage. ... That's non-alcoholic." - Joe

Mostly Magestic Barrage

"It's almost like hell, only with spoons." - Sterbz

Mostly the Saurus

"Daaamn she's all kinds of naked" - Testa

Mostly the Small House

"Speaking of A.D.D., I met a deaf person today." - Sterbz

Mostly The Saurus

"She's pregnant now. Four weeks or four months or something. I don't pretend to know about pregnancy" - Rachel
"Or time." - Testa

"In America, we don't raise children to be married. Well, except for that one guy." - Rachel

Mostly the Small House

"We had shirts that started off white and that was like 'yay', then they turned neon green and it was like 'fuck'. That's like fucking unnecessary." - Levon

Mostly The Saurus

"There will be a room on the second floor with a couch and TV, and you can watch your underwear" - Jessie

Mostly Work

"Did you submit your time shit?" - Elizabeth
"Sure I di-..." - Joe
"Haha Freudian time slips" - Elizabeth

Mostly Magestic Barrage

"Ask me tomorrow about a pedophile named Sprinkes" - Todd

"I shaved my legs one year for swimming" - Sam
"You swam?" - Sterbz
"No, I just shaved my legs" - Sam

"They went back in time and it was a robot eating palm trees" - Sterbz

Mostly Work

"I should get a grandpa shark tattoo" - Joe
"It needs to be one of the ones where you press it and it starts to sing" - Elizabeth

"Say what you will about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow in school zones." - Joe's brother

"Pedophiles don't say 'golly'" - Joe

Mostly The Saurus

"You watch the end of season one and shit gets crazy. You watch the end of season two and shit gets crazy. You watch the end of season three and shit. Gets. Crazy." - Testa

Mostly Work

"You shirt is sparkly. Why isn't my shirt sparkly? Matt, why isn't your shirt sparkly?" - Shukri

"Was I gonna steal your TV last night? Because I didn't have a grocery cart..." - Elizabeth

"Oh Joe, I'm supposed to ask you about a monkey man in the library. Apparently you followed him around?" - Kathleen
"No, that was Kevin. No wait, that was an Asian that followed him around." - Elizabeth

"Maps make me feel oriented. And... aware. Of things." - Elizabeth
"What about an asian map?" - Matt
"It's oriented." - Joe

"Well I didn't die from lunch yesterday. That's a plus." - Elizabeth
"Are you sure?" - Matt
"About the death or the plus?" - Elizabeth

"That's how we teach the girls to love their bodies; round them up and tell them to go exercise" - Matt

Mostly The Saurus

"He came back from the dead because of the Deathly Hallows. Just like Jesus. If God wanted to smite me he would be totally justified right now." - Testa

Mostly Work

"I don't like saying 'bless you', I only say it to cats." - Alexis

"You should stop saying I'm an alcoholic, because if you say it, eventually it's going to come true." - Elizabeth
"You're a millionaire" - Matt
"Good, keep saying that" - Elizabeth
"You're a millionaire alcoholic" -Joe

"I just submitted my timesheet" - Shukri
"What? So you're not coming back this today?" - Joe

"Is it mid-July yet?" - Joe
"No, it's still late-early July" - Alexis

Mostly Workers Meeting

"Every time Ian asks me what I want to do, I respond with 'drugs, alcohol, terrorism, Disney movie'" - Laura

Mostly Work

"Milk is delicious. I want to buy a milk faucet." - Joe
"You mean a cow?" - Matt

Mostly the Kurre's

"I thought it was refrigerated!" - Sterbz
"It was on top of the refrigerator" - Sam

"I threw a broom at you and told you to clean up your act!" - Sterbz

"Hey Sam, I just realized something" - Sterbz
"What?" - Sam
"Our wives will have to be friends" - Sterbz
"...Fuck" - Sam

Mostly the Small House

"Her dad is THE Stu Collins!" - Sterbz

Mostly Prayer Group

"Who came up with this idea? And why does this penguin have so much junk in its trunk?" - Sterbz

Mostly Magestic Barrage

"I swear to fucking God" - Sterbz
"I swear to the god of fucking" - Testa

"The titanic is sunk, forget about the Romans" - Testa

"The atom bomb dropped, so you can forget about the Civil War" - Sterbz

"Girls like laughing" - Sam
"Girls like breathing" - Sterbz
"Girls like looking at things, case closed." - Sam

Mostly Cell Group

"I really want to get a starfleet tattoo so that I can hit my chest and say things" - Leslie

Mostly Alpha Leaders Meeting

"Why do I have Kimmie with an e?" - Bucklew
"What?! My name has an e!" - Kimmie
"Huh. That's weird..." - Bucklew
"No it's not! ...Stop drinking!" - Kimmie

Mostly Painting 2

"Ms. Kikta's girlfriend shot that woman in the face." - Ms Kiko

Mostly 614

"No, Aaron comes before Allan! Because there's two 'a's!" - Sterbz
"But is it capitalized or lower case?" - Kimmy
"It doesn't make a difference!" - Sterbz

"On a scale from one to lost, I am it" - Sterbz

"When the Matrix was out, everyone had tiny phones and little glasses" - Tovar

"And then my appendix exploded... That was a ridiculous time." - Taylor

Mostly World History

"Why does it go Alpha Brava Charlie Delta? We need a new alphabet" - Max

Mostly Alpha

"That's right, I use dumbed down academia in my thug life" - Cooper

Mostly Erica's House

'This is not the new one, it's the one inside the manatee" - Erica

Mostly English

"Orlando kept stealing the rock and I was like, 'stop doing that!'" - Steven(?)

Mostly Lunch

"Hey... looks like we find Chris attractive." - Mr. Spinner

Mostly World History

"How's famine going for ya?" - Drew McDaniel

Mostly Calculus

"Mr. Huler's a douchebag who gives me shaking baby syndrome because I wont take the AP test" - Alyssa Corbeil

Mostly Wendys

"We were mugging Evan at CT" - Matt

"That's my knee" - Curtis

"No, that's mine." - Matt

"We almost got his jacket off" Curtis

Mostly Lunch

"Problems for nice people; creepers. They happen." -Jessica Nixon?

Mostly Lunch

"You may be wondering why me and David and Mason were all in my dream. Well..." - Jessica Nixon

"Threesome!" - Sam

Mostly 614

"Like a deer with its headlights cut off" - 614

Mostly Wendy's

"My mom was like, 'how do I get music illegally? Do I just type "illegal music" into Google?' " - Carley Bushman

Mostly Painting Class

"okay I'm gonna show you my sketchbook, but I gotta tell you first that it was supposed to be a baby..." - Kyle