Mostly Mr. House

"Where did Mikey go? He just disappeared... like a woman of the night." - Sam

Mostly Prayer

"How could you say Courtney won? I had her held back in a chokehold with the gun pointed at her face!" - Shannon

"I smell like Beyonce" - Courtney

Mostly House Meeting

"Sit on the sidewalk, chomp on some bread until the house burns." - Laura

"House vote for Shannon is an arsonist and we don't want to sleep in the same house as her" - Courtney

Mostly Majestic Barrage

"Bums are fun" - Mel

"What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw a real life oompa loompa?" - Levon
"I'd think that dwarf had bad jaundice." - Sterbz

"They cant have all that sexy without some sort of outlet." - Sam

"Sharkbat counts as a woman apparently." - Robyn
"Yes, it's my woman." - Nate

"By the power of Jesus Imma smack the ho demons out of you!" - Mikey

Mostly strawgoH

"We are in two boats. That are not the same boat." - Courtney

Mostly strawgoH

"What if we just had a room full of kiddie powder" - Rachel

Mostly strawgoH

"What are you thinking about, Rachel?" - Laura
"...Tilling ground." - Rachel

Mostly strawgoH

"Rachel look at this Asian baby!" - Emily
"I seeeee" - Rachel
"...I am not an Asian baby." - Emily
"Are you sure? Last I checked you were an Asian baby." - Rachel

Mostly strawgoH

"I forbid you to speak, Rachel!" - Courtney
"Screw you, Courtney, I do what I want!" - Rachel
"I'm sorry, what did you say? My ear is far." - Courtney

Mostly strawgoH

"I spend way too much time punching. I could be doing other things; like dishes." - Laura

Mostly my Phone

"The thing that confused me is I've been duct taped, and Gabe's been duct taped, and damned near everybody's been duct taped at some point." - Ian

"Put your seatbelt on!" - Emily
"I can't. I've got... Fire in my hands!' - Shannon

"Emily, do you mind if we go to the store? Aw, fuck it, why am I asking you? Emily, we're going to the gas station." - Shannon

"Wish I could breathe oxygen..." - Sam

Mostly strawgoH

"This little piggy went to church,
"This little piggy bought a bible.
"This little piggy ran away from Catholicism.
"This little piggy went to hell because he wasn't a Christian." - Courtney

Mostly strawgoH

"Why is there a lighter stuck to your stomach? I have a talented boyfriend." - Courtney

Mostly Mr House

"Paul McCartney was wrong. All you need is not love, it's a clamp with a suction cup attached to it." - Sam

"Harry Potter and the Rock
"Harry Potter and the Secret Toilet
"Harry Potter and the Jail
"Harry Potter and the Cup
"Harry Potter and the Bird
"Harry Potter and the Bastard
"Harry Potter and the Woods One
"Harry Potter and the Woods Two" - Mikey

"Harry Potter and the Royal Bastard." - Mikey

"Origami with celery." - Tae
"Celegamery." - Logan

Mostly strawgoH

"Gabe is a monster. He is a freak. And could probably be put down." - Brett

"I HAVE WHALE POSTERS. THEY SUSTAIN ME." - Jessie

"Why are black people faster? Because they have to run from bigger animals?" - Roger

"I don't know whether to be happy for them or not because statistically they're doomed to fail." - Rachel

"What is that? Is that Jesus?" - Roger
"No, it's just some fucking Indian." - Brett

"Lamb. Symbolic for watermelon." - Laura

"My babies will be born with Spanish work books." - Laura

"Can I keep her?" - Courtney
"Who, Emily?" - Laura
"Yeah." - Courtney
"Aw, I guess so." - Laura

Mostly Beach

"A croissant and a biscuit - that's bestiality." - Spencer

"Hot pockets!" - Robyn
"Down on the farm!" - Courtney

"Shots Jones, you have terrible ideas." - Courtney
"I have great ideas. Why would you listen to someone named Shots?" - Josh

"What was my score? Fifty- fifty two!" - Tae
"Bad math or hustle?" - Josh
"No. Both." - Tae

Mostly Holden

"She's like, what low prices? What low prices? ... Huh? Daaamn" - Lehman

"I SAID, do you want to marry a croissant and swallow a piano?" - Lehman

"Then you can marry a croissant and divorce it when it cheats on you!" - Spencer
"It runs off with a biscuit" - Sunglasses
"A croissant and a biscuit- that's bestiality" - Spencer

Mostly Holden

"They die a perishable pair of jeans, and they rise an imperishable pair of jeans." - Neely

Mostly Holden

"Hey a whole bunch of teddybears come and tickle you and then you eat them because they're made out of gummy!" - Levon

"Well see, it's about Vlad the Impaler..." - Biggs
"Not interesting enough to hear about, Biggs." - Robin

"Don't do it!" - Sterbz
"What?" - Sam
"Squeeze my hand." - Sterbz
"What?!" - Sam
"You squeeze my hand all the time!" - Sterbz
"When?" - Sam
"When no one's looking!" - Sterbz

Mostly strawgoH

"I just put pictures on facebook, I know internet, Shannon." - Laura

Mostly Bowling

"They have a toddler down there. We need that toddler." - Rachel

Mostly strawgoH

"You're going to get Native American skin cancer!" - Rachel
"Yeah, you look at it under the microscope and it starts dancing." - Courtney

Mostly strawgoH

"We should each tell Cathy that we've laid with other women." - Courtney
"I didn't. I might have. I want to." - Jessie

"I don't know about the monkeys. They're crafty and look like people." - Rachel

"Aww, that wouldn't happen. I'd hear her screaming or something." - Rachel

"Maybe I'm a Nazi then, who doesn't want to be." - Rachel
"Rachel's a Jew Nazi." - Courtney

"You two are the weirdest couple I know." - Courtney
"YOU are the weirdest couple you know!" - Neely

"These would withstand high heat, wouldn't they?" - Jessie
"Well you couldn't weld with them..." - Rachel

"You can't fool me!" - Jessie
"You don't know what I can fool!" - Rachel
"She could fool a skunk into thinking it's a lobster." - Emily

"Who can resist muffins other than Nazis?" - Rachel

"Speaking of boyscouts and Germans..." - Jessie

"Robin. Robin. More robins. Sparrow." - Laura
"Sparrow?" - Emily
"No, maybe that's a robin too." - Laura

Mostly Everything

"Chicken!" - Emily
"I told you not to touch the chickens." - Shannon

"I use my catapult tortoise to fling my knight at your castle flotation ring." - Sterbz

"What is that smell?" - Testa
"Meat" - Emily
"I know." - Testa

"What does Darkness look like?" - Roger
"Nipple." - Cian
"That doesn't even make sense!" - Testa
"yeah it does, it's that he's, like, darker than the rest of the body of Christ." - Roger

"It's like the Hunger Games, but with Jenga." - Matt Sass

"No, it' not punishment. Because punishment is usually death. This is just discipline." - Mikey

"you wish your love life was foreign, because you like the Japanese dudes." - Rachel

Mostly strawgoH

"That's not for you, tiny dog! ...or is it?" - Rachel

Mostly strawgoH

"She's gonna scratch the shit out of you and I'm going to enjoy rubbing alcohol in your wounds." - Rachel

Mostly strawgoH

"His mohawk's too big, he can't fit in his house!" - Shannon

"If there's something I don't want missing from my sandwich, it's the pink loogie." - Courtney

Mostly strawgoH

"We got bongos?" - Rachel
"What?" - Laura
"There are bongos over here." - Rachel
"Those are cereal containers..." - Emily

Mostly strawgoH

"I like duckies." - Jessie
"I think there's a verse about that." - Mel
"Don't like duckies." - Kimmie
"Don't fuck the duck." - Mel

"The nuns are back." - Shannon

"What's instagram and why am I on the internet?" - Jessie

Mostly Mr House

"Tiny shirts. Tiny shirts with sharks eating seals. That's what you're missing if you don't go to the beach." - Mikey

"I do like Demon Hunter sometimes" - Cathy
"Do you ever just take wolf's blood and, like, rub it all over your face?" - Neely

Mostly Disney

"Come along now, Patsy." - Rachel
"Patsy? I thought this was Arthur." - Emily
"Nope, the TV is named Patsy." - Rachel